One Less Heart To Break

"Please don't do it, Dan. Please! I'm begging you!" Phil shouts into my ear. But I'm deaf, for now.

The cold air is pushing my hair back from my face, and I feel refreshed. But I'm not changing my mind.


I thought that when I got up here, I would get scared and listen to Phil's advice. I usually pay attention to him, but this is my choice. Yes, he'll be affected, obviously, but I just don't care anymore.

"Dan, please! You don't know how much you mean to everyone. You'll be missed so much! I'll miss you!" Phil's voice is cracking from the shouting. I keep staring straight ahead, but I can see his face close to my ear. I look down at the suburban landscape before me, and my loathing of it continues. I've always hated living here, and I've never known the reason.

The sky is dark, and barely any lights are on in the houses around me. It's nearing dawn, and the horizon is turning violet.

"Dan! Dan, I don't know what to do! How can I get you to listen?!"

I turn to face the apparition, and look into his shining eyes. "Phil. You're just a part of my mind, the stupid part. I love you, but you're so ignorant. You never see this part of me, and you'll never understand it. I have nothing else to do. I'm sick of everything, nothing is worth it," I say, turning back to the space before me. I take another step forward.

"Dan," Phil wraps his arms round me, "please hold on. Do you not remember all the times we spent together? You were happy then. These are just the ups and downs of living life, you've got to accept that. Please. I need you so much, and I know you need me too. Just stay with me for one more night, because it's always darkest before the light. If you go, I will too. Stay with me, please?"

As I tip my body forward, I think, this world needs one less heart to break.

As the cracks in my personality deepen, I let myself listen to him. If Phil left me, I'd just be an empty shell with no purpose. I felt like that a moment ago, but I remember the times we spent together. All those conversations where he's cheered me up, and those times where I'd just talk at him, and he'd hug me and listen. If Phil wasn't here, I'd be dead already, long ago.

He didn't try to pull me back, I notice. When my body fell forward, he clung closer. He would have fallen with me, I think.

I pull my body back onto the concrete ledge, and away from escape. Why would I want to leave Phil?

I connect my brown eyes to his blue ones and say, "stay with me, forever."

"I promise you, I'll never turn away. Just never leave me like that again," he replies. I nod, close my eyes, and press my forehead down against his.

The sun breaks through the even skyline, and shines on me; the boy stood on a building, with his head tilted down. He's having a conversation, but with himself.